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Atlanta, GA | Posted: May 5, 2010
Rachael Pocklington
Parents Program
404-385-3920
Summary Sentence:
Coping with the mixed emotions of having a college graduate return to the nest
Full Summary:
A recent survey indicated that 57 percent of college graduates plan to move back home after graduation. Both you and your student may have mixed emotions about this arrangement. To minimize the risks and maximize the benefits, a few guidelines may be helpful.
Graduate + Parentsby Irene E. Dalton, Ph.D.
Staff Psychologist, Georgia Tech Counseling Center
Not long ago it was reasonable to expect that when your student left for college they would not be returning home after graduation. However, a recent survey by Monster Trak indicated that 57 percent of college graduates plan to move back home after graduation. Your student might move home for a number of reasons, most of which are financially motivated. Due to the poor economy, your student may still be in the job hunting process or they cannot afford to live independently on an entry-level salary. Other reasons for moving home include the financial strain of paying off loans, the desire to save money for future goals such as a down payment, or perhaps they would like to live at home while attending graduate school.
Whatever the reason, both you and your student may have mixed emotions about this arrangement. As parents it is not uncommon to have conflicting feelings such as happiness, excitement, anxiety, or even anger. Your student may feel relief and less worried about paying bills, but may also feel uneasy about this temporary loss of independence. There are some risks for you as a parent, including the possibility of increased tension, misunderstandings and resentment, as well as the financial strain this may put on you. However, this arrangement may create a wonderful opportunity to form a new adult relationship with your student, which you may not have otherwise been able to do.
To minimize the risks and maximize the benefits, a few guidelines may be helpful. Overall, the key to having a successful living arrangement with your student is to communicate openly and proactively. Expectations for your student should be clear and negotiated in advance of the move back home. Some parents prefer to write a contract outlining house rules and expectations. That way, there is no room for ambiguity or lack of clarity. Other parents prefer to have an oral agreement.
Regardless of how you outline these rules, the following areas should be addressed:
In general, you will be happiest if you continue to live your lifestyle in the same way as before. It is important not to slip back into old roles, and recognize that it is healthiest for everyone if you treat your grown child as an adult. Although there are some potential challenges, clear expectations and open communication will make the transition go as smoothly as possible.
The Georgia Tech Counseling Center is located on the second floor of the Student Services Building (The Flag Building) and is open each day from 8AM - 5PM. The center offers free consultations, as well as individual, couples and group counseling for enrolled Georgia Tech students. Additionally, we offer seminars and workshops on a variety of topics (stress management, time management, healthy relationships, depression and anxiety) throughout the semester. A schedule of dates and times can be found at www.counseling.gatech.edu. Students and parents can call our office for more information at 404-894-2575.
